This is getting to be a regular thing for me, and this is the last time I am going to post about it. I am bored with this :) I have just heard of yet another Thai bar girl / farang marriage failing in exactly the same way as many have failed in the past.
I know a girl called Ning who worked ( as a dancer ) in Soi Cowboy for about 18 months. I would say that she was a hardened bar girl by the time she met her 'husband'. They were married 9 months and now she is back in the bar. The way their 'relationship' developed and then failed is typical of the often repeated scenario I describe below.
The scenario is as follows and is about farang who do not live in Thailand. The outcome is so predictable I cannot believe that men still get into these sort of arrangements.
1. Girl works in a bar for more than a year and learns from other like minded colleagues.
2. Farang comes to Bangkok on holiday alone, probably unhappy with his life in his home country.
3. Goes to the bar for some light relief.
4. Falls for a bar girl 30 years younger than him ( his brain in the wrong place ).
5. Goes home after a month.
6. Pines for his 'girl' in Bangkok but she is working in a bar and he can't sleep thinking she is with other men.
7. Returns for another holiday 1 or 2 months later.
8. Girl makes time for him and expresses her undying love.
9. Farang promises to send her money every month if she stops working the bar and she agrees.
10. Farang returns home and starts sending money. Girl goes home to her village.
11. Her family learns of this arrangement.....
12. Girl contacts Farang and wants him to come to Bangkok because she 'misses him too much'.
13. Farang returns to BKK and they meet up and spend a few weeks together. Girl talks about making a house in her village and how much she loves him. The 'relationship' blossoms.
14. Farang eventually marries her, promises to buy land from her family, build a house in her village, buy her a car, and carry on sending her money every month. That is as long as she stays in her village and not go anywhere near Bangkok or Pattaya.
15. Girl obviously agrees and it happens. Farang goes back to his home country.
16. House is lived in by all in sundry and the car ends up in the village car pool. The girl gets bored and wants to return to the bright lights ( can't blame her for that really ) .
17. Girl tells husband that she is going back to Bangkok because her village has nothing but will not go to the bar areas. She will just work in Big C or some such place. Farang is not happy and threatens to cut her money.
18. Girl goes anyway - result is lots of arguments on the phone. Farang thinks cutting her money will make her change her mind and does so.
19. Girl has not enough money so goes back to the bar. Game over.
20. Winner the girl and her family, big time loser ( financially and emotionally ) - the farang.
Many farang tourists who visit the bars seem to know the reality of bar girl relationships, but of course it won't happen to them....