Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Here We Go Again - When Are We Going To Learn

'A British man has been murdered by his Thai bride and her lover- after predicting his own killing and sitting helplessly in his tropical 'palace' waiting for it to happen.' So says the Daily Mail newspaper in England.

It looks like another foreigner exploited by a Thai girl who says she loved him, when all the time she wanted to drain him of everything, no doubt guided by her Thai boyfriend / husband/ family. Then when he was broke, and not dead yet, he had to go one way or another so the family could enjoy his house......

I hear stories of Thai girls exploiting farang (foreigners) time and time again. All the farang say, "Oh my girlfriend (normally an ex bar girl ) is not the same". Then in a matter of months they soon realise that she is. I have also had a Thai girl and her husband (who I did not know about at first) try to exploit me, but I saw through it very quickly and stopped it. But many foreign men get taken in hook line and sinker.

Up until recently, the girl who tried it on with me, called all the time expressing her undying love!! I know all she wanted was money for her husband. She always called me in the last half of the month as pay day approached. Last time she was pleading for me to give her money to buy a bicycle because she could not afford gas for the motorbike she uses to take her daughter to and from school. I asked her how far it was to the school and she replied "About 300 metres ". I laughed. This was the same girl who I went shopping with me in a local superstore once, and she told me she was going to the toilet and came back 3 weeks later ! LOL

I feel sorry for a lot of the girls because they are pressured into doing this by their families or boyfriends. They know that many foreign men fall in love very easily, especially if relationships have been a problem with them in the past, and the Thai girls plays on that. They say what the foreigner wants to hear and the girls gets what she and her family wants.

Then, as time goes on they up the stakes demanding more and more, threatening to 'go work bar', 'find another man who will take care', 'My brother is a policeman and will make it hard for you', and other forms of emotional blackmail. They then want you to buy land in their village, normally from a relative. Then build a house on the land. Many foreigners do this - but of course it has to be in her name, a foreigner cannot own land here. Its the same as throwing money down a drain. As soon as he is out of the way, the family moves in.......sometimes even before the foreigner is out of the way !

(Of course it works out for maybe 1 in 100 foreigner / Thai marriages, especially if the girl is from a good and financially secure family. The odds are stacked far too heavily against the foreigner for me even to contemplate it).

I have told my present girlfriend that I will take care of her and thats it. She will have to stay with me in my condo in Bangkok, I will never buy a house or land, and I will never go and live in her hometown. If she does not like it then ok, goodbye. She knows I have been in Bangkok years and that I know all the tricks so accepts it. She knows that on a personal level she is on to a good thing. She also knows that the good times will end rapidly if she starts demanding more and more, and that I know more Thai police officers than she could ever hope to !

Its so sad, its the same for the crazy foreigners who come here on holiday and spend all their time in the bars. They meet a beautiful girl who they rapidly fall in love with. They ask her why she 'works bar' and they reply that they need money because their family is poor. They say they have no boyfriend ( when 90 percent are either married or have a boyfriend or both) and that they do not want to work.

The foreigner goes home and then sends money to the girl, sometimes hundreds of US dollars, or Euros or pounds a month ! She tells him that she will stop 'work' and the foreigner believes her. Yes some do stop, but they normally go home to their husband or boyfriend. But the majority do not stop - they might change bar but do not stop ' work'. They just lie and lie again - they do not see it as a lie, they see it as not hurting the feelings of their 'foreign boyfriend'. They also see it as business - not love and affection as we foreigners expect.

I have been with one such girl. We were in my hotel room enjoying each others company when her mobile phone rang. I heard the caller, he had a Scottish accent, she said she was out at MBK ( shopping centre ) and then that evening she was going to see a movie with her sister. Of course she wasn't going to a bar because she had him - or so she told him! I laughed out loud, she cringed and gestured for me to shut up. I did not. I hope he heard and got the message.

I could write a book about what I have seen and experienced in Bangkok. Many foreigners have. Maybe I will one day. But what sticks in my mind the most is Khun Ann who worked in a bar in a reasonable quiet soi ( road ) in Sukhumvit.

I got to know her quite well over the years and she confided many things to me. She had a Thai boyfriend who did not work. He demanded money from her threatening physical violence if she didn't come up with it. I believed her. She had 5 foreigners sending her money every month. She had 3 mobile phones, two used only to call the farang who sent her money. Her boyfriend ended up driving a brand new BMW !

She juggled her time when the men came back to Bangkok on holiday. In fact she was very good at it. If one foreigner was in town and another was due, she would say she had to go home because her mother was sick etc etc. The first foreigner would give her money and feel sorry for htis poor soul, then she would go and meet the next one at the airport and go off to Pattaya or somewhere with him.

Despite all the information on the internet and that what is given by word of mouth, the visiting foreigners still get fleeced, both emotionally and financially. They all know what can happen but are from the ' not her, she loves me for sure' mould.

Til the next one to hit the headlines......

Oh and before I get flamed, yes there are exceptions, but as I have said, the odds are stacked heavily against you unless you are very rich, or find a girl from a good, and financially secure family.

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